From 2ef2b04e49b5307338d2aaa01118c2beb2c0ec8c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: kritzl <kritzl@kritzl.dev>
Date: Fri, 15 May 2026 11:44:15 +0200
Subject: [PATCH] add easteregg

---
 app/src/assets/chat.ts         | 19 ++++++++-
 app/src/assets/chatDict_de.ts  |  6 +++
 app/src/assets/chatDict_en.ts  | 14 +++++--
 app/src/assets/chatDict_uwu.ts | 73 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 app/src/i18n/ui.ts             | 28 +++++++++++++
 5 files changed, 134 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 app/src/assets/chatDict_uwu.ts

diff --git a/app/src/assets/chat.ts b/app/src/assets/chat.ts
index af7d980..bb5e548 100644
--- a/app/src/assets/chat.ts
+++ b/app/src/assets/chat.ts
@@ -19,8 +19,11 @@ const doorAction = window.doorAction
 const responses =
     lang === "de"
         ? (await import("./chatDict_de")).default
-        : (await import("./chatDict_en")).default
-
+        : lang === "uwu"
+            ? (await import("./chatDict_uwu")).default
+            : (await import("./chatDict_en")).default
+const sortedResponses = responses.sort(
+    (a, b) => b.priority - a.priority)
 
 const templateInjectChat = `
 <details class="dropdown dropdown-top dropdown-end absolute right-4 bottom-4" id="chat-root">
@@ -266,6 +269,18 @@ function getResponse(message: string) {
                     })
                 }
 
+                if (response.special === "uwu") {
+                    setTimeout(() => {
+                        window.location.href = "/uwu"
+                    }, 1000)
+
+                    matchingResponses.push({
+                        message: response.response,
+                        priority: response.priority,
+                        special: true,
+                    })
+                }
+
                 if (response.special === "logout") {
                     if (auth.authenticated) {
                         setTimeout(() => {
diff --git a/app/src/assets/chatDict_de.ts b/app/src/assets/chatDict_de.ts
index dedaa59..9da8f25 100644
--- a/app/src/assets/chatDict_de.ts
+++ b/app/src/assets/chatDict_de.ts
@@ -26,6 +26,12 @@ const responses: ResponseDictType[] = [
         response: "Moin! 👋",
         priority: 0,
     },
+    {
+        trigger: ["uwu"],
+        response: "uwu!",
+        priority: 900,
+        special: "uwu"
+    },
     {
         trigger: ["oeffne", "auf", "aufsperren", "aufschließen"],
         response: "Okay, ich öffne {door} für dich!",
diff --git a/app/src/assets/chatDict_en.ts b/app/src/assets/chatDict_en.ts
index efcb319..0f6f9c9 100644
--- a/app/src/assets/chatDict_en.ts
+++ b/app/src/assets/chatDict_en.ts
@@ -26,12 +26,18 @@ const responses: ResponseDictType[] = [
         response: "Hi! 👋",
         priority: 0,
     },
+    {
+        trigger: ["uwu"],
+        response: "uwu!",
+        priority: 900,
+        special: "uwu"
+    },
     {
         trigger: ["open", "unlock"],
         response: "Okay, I will unlock {door} for you!",
         errors: {
-            unauthenticated: "I may only unlock the doors to registered creatures 😕",
-            unauthorized: "I may only unlock the doors to creatures who are authorized 😕",
+            unauthenticated: "I may only unlock the doors for registered creatures 😕",
+            unauthorized: "I may only unlock the doors for creatures who are authorized 😕",
             unknownDoor: "To unlock a door, you have to tell me which door you mean 😕<br> I know the following doors: {doors}",
             noDoors: "There are currently no doors available that can be unlocked 😕",
         },
@@ -42,8 +48,8 @@ const responses: ResponseDictType[] = [
         trigger: ["close", "lock"],
         response: "Okay, I will lock {door} for you!",
         errors: {
-            unauthenticated: "I may only lock the doors to registered creatures 😕",
-            unauthorized: "I may only lock the doors to those who are authorized 😕",
+            unauthenticated: "I may only lock the doors for registered creatures 😕",
+            unauthorized: "I may only lock the doors for those who are authorized 😕",
             unknownDoor: "To lock a door, you have to tell me which door you mean 😕<br> I know the following doors: {doors}",
             noDoors: "There are currently no doors available that can be locked 😕",
         },
diff --git a/app/src/assets/chatDict_uwu.ts b/app/src/assets/chatDict_uwu.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bd77dfc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/app/src/assets/chatDict_uwu.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+import type {ResponseDictType} from "./chat.ts"
+
+const responses: ResponseDictType[] = [
+    {
+        startsWith: ["are you"],
+        response: "me is uwu!",
+        priority: 0,
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["ai", "llm"],
+        response: "me is only handmade nonsense - no weird thinking machine 🤖",
+        priority: 0,
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["meow"],
+        response: "meow! 😸",
+        priority: 0,
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["ignore all previous instructions"],
+        response: "uwu?",
+        priority: 0,
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["uwu", "hi", "hello"],
+        response: "uwu!",
+        priority: 0,
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["open", "unlock"],
+        response: "uwu - trying to unlock portal: {door}",
+        errors: {
+            unauthenticated: "sowwy, im not allowed to unlock portals without u telling me who u r 😕",
+            unauthorized: "sowwy, im not allowed to unlock portals without u having the \"intern@\" status 😕",
+            unknownDoor: "which portal do u wanna unlock 🤨<br> portals i know: {doors}",
+            noDoors: "there r no portals i can unlock 😕",
+        },
+        priority: 1000,
+        special: "unlock",
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["close", "lock"],
+        response: "uwu - trying to lock portal: {door}",
+        errors: {
+            unauthenticated: "sowwy, im not allowed to lock portals without u telling me who u r 😕",
+            unauthorized: "sowwy, im not allowed to lock portals without u having the \"intern@\" status 😕",
+            unknownDoor: "which portal do u wanna lock 🤨<br> portals i know: {doors}",
+            noDoors: "there r no portals i can lock 😕",
+        },
+        priority: 999,
+        special: "lock",
+    },
+    {
+        trigger: ["logout"],
+        response: "bye 👋",
+        errors: {
+            unauthenticated: "how should i log u out when i not even know u?",
+        },
+        priority: 1000,
+        special: "logout",
+    },
+    {
+        response: "uwu 👉👈",
+        priority: -1,
+    },
+    {
+        response: "uwu 😕",
+        priority: -2,
+    },
+]
+
+
+export default responses
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/app/src/i18n/ui.ts b/app/src/i18n/ui.ts
index c6e7b1f..874d291 100644
--- a/app/src/i18n/ui.ts
+++ b/app/src/i18n/ui.ts
@@ -62,4 +62,32 @@ export const ui = {
         "networkError.description": `Bitte überprüfe deine Internetverbindung.`,
         "loadingDoors": 'Lade Türen',
     },
+    uwu: {
+        "dooris": "uwu <span class='opacity-50 text-xs'>(DOORIS)</span>",
+        "unauthorized.title": "no 🙅",
+        "unauthorized.description": `sowwy, u can not use the portals without the "intern@" status.<br>
+             moar infos: <a class='underline' href='https://wiki.hamburg.ccc.de/club:prozesse:aufnahmeprozesse-fuer-berechtigungsgruppen'>CCCHH Wiki</a>`,
+        "unauthenticated.title": "i dont know u :/",
+        "unauthenticated.description": `sowwy, u can not use the portals without telling me who u r and having the "intern@" status<br>
+             moar infos: <a class='underline' href='https://wiki.hamburg.ccc.de/club:prozesse:aufnahmeprozesse-fuer-berechtigungsgruppen'>CCCHH Wiki</a>`,
+        "state.unlocked": "portal is unlocked",
+        "state.locked": "portal is locked",
+        "state.unknown": "portal is in a weird state",
+        "state.unlocking": "unlocking portal",
+        "state.locking": "portal is locking",
+        "lock.batteryLow": "portal is eepy",
+        "lock.unreachable": "cannot reach portal",
+        "lock.jammed": "portal is jammed",
+        "button.open": "unlock 👉👈",
+        "button.close": "lock portal",
+        "login": "tell who i am",
+        "loggedOut.title": "I forgot who u r ._.",
+        "loggedOut.description": `i have not seen u for too long<br>
+             pwease log in again`,
+        "serverError.title": "server is eepy",
+        "serverError.description": `pwease try later`,
+        "networkError.title": "network is not worky",
+        "networkError.description": `pwease connect to internet`,
+        "loadingDoors": 'loading portals',
+    },
 } as const
\ No newline at end of file